If you've ever worked in a garden or on a small farm, you've probably replanted a seedling or flower. You know that to wake them up, before putting them in the ground, you rustle the roots a little. It seems counter intuitive, breaking up those roots they so need, those roots you know you will later painstakingly avoid while weeding. But it helps them in this new life, to be able to grow not into themselves, but into the vast soil now below them.
So it goes with this body of mine. My roots have been awakened. If you've worked out with me, you know a complaint I have (which certainly and understandably annoyed you), if that I don't really feel the burn and thus have no real understanding of my lactic threshold. I did push-ups the other day until I literally could not lift myself up any more. I laughed, though, because it didn't hurt, I was just incapable, try as I did. On the same token, however, I've been running and thought, "man this is painful, I should run faster and get it over with" and then simply dug deeper into myself and without feeling more pain, moved myself faster. This isn't to say I don't "feel it," I just feel it after the fact, and usually in the long term. I had that pain in my shoulders for months, you may recall, for example, after I excitedly practiced power vinyasa yoga 3-4 times a week.
So today as I rode home from meeting with my new job before work at my current job, I started feeling a supreme tightness in my chest. But today, miraculously, I feel emotionally fantastic so it wasn't the tight-chested anxiety clutch usually holding on to my heart as of late. My chest was sore, finally, from doing push ups every other day! Then at work at my current job, I raised my arm and felt a fatigue so deep and certain. My body isn't quitting on me, it is merely enjoying this day of rest. I have awoken the roots of my being so that I can become healthier and stronger, that I can take a tighter grip on my soil and suck the sweet life from around me (and also, of course, just like plants, I hope to offer the same life to others, in the ways I can. Osmosis and all that).
I feel fantastic.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Week 2, pickin up steam
I'm writing this, somewhat sadistically, watching E. muscle through an uncomfortable Power Yoga with Rodney Yee practice - probably his first yoga effort in months, making it even less pleasant for him. I was going to partake, but I had a pretty awesome CrossFit session at Integrated Fitness on the Southside, my newest playground. I'm still stewing, which is gross, but I've been enjoying the luxuries of the evening - protein shake with Pea Protein (sounds gross, but it only kinda is) with a bit of peanut butter flavored whey protein from E.'s cycling team sponsor, About Time, for taste (you know the pea protein isn't too tasty when I'm cutting it with just a different kind of protein powder), some frozen berries, almond milk, and ice; juice with kale, carrots, and beets; turkey burger with some bbq sauce and avocado (yes I know I've been wanting to kick the meat again but it was the only thing meal-appropriate in the house, save for a salmon burger but I want to save that for a special occasion when I have gluten-free bread around).
I've had a headache for the past few days. No doubt in response to the following: not drinking enough water, not drinking enough coffee (yes, I know how that sounds), drinking too much cider (last night I had 2 at Piper's Pub because they got Arsenal Cider in, then a third cider at the Brillobox to celebrate Steve K's big win at the road race - that's the most I've drank in a really long time), and slipping on my nutritional requirements and eating dairy and bread-like products (ie pizza). Also, however, it should be noted that my headache starts two points - the front of my forehead and the hinge of my jaw - and merges in my temples and can be followed to the back of my cranium, where my ridge would form if I were a wild dog, or where my high ponytail would sit if I were a valley girl and this were 1992. So diet, sure, but also stress (which I went into with minor detail last post).
I've noticed that no matter how tired (remember, I'm also burning on zero....caffeine..) I feel, how bad my headache is all day, even how achy I feel - today at work I was tempted to not go to CrossFit, but they have an online sign-up so I was committed, damnit, and thank goodness for that - once I'm in there and change shoes like a beefcake Mr. Rogers (from cycling to running, that is), say hi to my new friends, and get started on the warm-up lunges, etc., I feel like a champion ready for actions(and also, apparently, run-on sentences).
Today, there was an unusually large group of 17 people (the cap is supposed to be like 12 but a few people slipped through the cracks I guess), so we did this relay-style exercise in teams. It was difficult to see how good I was doing as an individual, besides just trying to do as good as possible, but it was really fun to work in a team setting again. So much of my life is solitary: I work pretty much alone, write alone, even live alone for a good chunk of most weeks. Other things I do aren't necessary solitary but are certainly autonomous (rock climbing, for instance, or yoga). I appreciated the collaborative effort, putting my strengths in sit-ups and lunges against Teammate B's killer burpee power (dude, those are really hard. the first 4 are fun and after that, my body just doesn't really understand what's happening and wants to stop. I found myself standing there multiple times, just staring at the rest of the crew, saying, "come on body, do something, and my body, bless its little heart, was like, "yo just gimme this second" and I had no choice but to concede for at least that second).
Point is, as soon as 6:30 hits, I'm excited for 5:30 two days from then. If I were made of money I might try to go every day, but alas. Right now, I'm no longer applying for jobs, and manuscripts are at a stand still because I have so many out that are waiting for feedback. My brain is too clustered to write a poem (though sometimes it tries at the least convenient times), and I can't focus enough to practice the bass (though I really need to get on that). We all know I go through sports like a high schooler goes through boyfriends, but for the moment I'm totally stoked. The only complaint I have is having hang-out clothes, work clothes, cycling clothes, and now CrossFit clothes all getting sweaty and stinky in this sticky heat, and laundry piling up to the point of actually having to, ugh, wash them. Tough life.
I've had a headache for the past few days. No doubt in response to the following: not drinking enough water, not drinking enough coffee (yes, I know how that sounds), drinking too much cider (last night I had 2 at Piper's Pub because they got Arsenal Cider in, then a third cider at the Brillobox to celebrate Steve K's big win at the road race - that's the most I've drank in a really long time), and slipping on my nutritional requirements and eating dairy and bread-like products (ie pizza). Also, however, it should be noted that my headache starts two points - the front of my forehead and the hinge of my jaw - and merges in my temples and can be followed to the back of my cranium, where my ridge would form if I were a wild dog, or where my high ponytail would sit if I were a valley girl and this were 1992. So diet, sure, but also stress (which I went into with minor detail last post).
I've noticed that no matter how tired (remember, I'm also burning on zero....caffeine..) I feel, how bad my headache is all day, even how achy I feel - today at work I was tempted to not go to CrossFit, but they have an online sign-up so I was committed, damnit, and thank goodness for that - once I'm in there and change shoes like a beefcake Mr. Rogers (from cycling to running, that is), say hi to my new friends, and get started on the warm-up lunges, etc., I feel like a champion ready for actions(and also, apparently, run-on sentences).
Today, there was an unusually large group of 17 people (the cap is supposed to be like 12 but a few people slipped through the cracks I guess), so we did this relay-style exercise in teams. It was difficult to see how good I was doing as an individual, besides just trying to do as good as possible, but it was really fun to work in a team setting again. So much of my life is solitary: I work pretty much alone, write alone, even live alone for a good chunk of most weeks. Other things I do aren't necessary solitary but are certainly autonomous (rock climbing, for instance, or yoga). I appreciated the collaborative effort, putting my strengths in sit-ups and lunges against Teammate B's killer burpee power (dude, those are really hard. the first 4 are fun and after that, my body just doesn't really understand what's happening and wants to stop. I found myself standing there multiple times, just staring at the rest of the crew, saying, "come on body, do something, and my body, bless its little heart, was like, "yo just gimme this second" and I had no choice but to concede for at least that second).
Point is, as soon as 6:30 hits, I'm excited for 5:30 two days from then. If I were made of money I might try to go every day, but alas. Right now, I'm no longer applying for jobs, and manuscripts are at a stand still because I have so many out that are waiting for feedback. My brain is too clustered to write a poem (though sometimes it tries at the least convenient times), and I can't focus enough to practice the bass (though I really need to get on that). We all know I go through sports like a high schooler goes through boyfriends, but for the moment I'm totally stoked. The only complaint I have is having hang-out clothes, work clothes, cycling clothes, and now CrossFit clothes all getting sweaty and stinky in this sticky heat, and laundry piling up to the point of actually having to, ugh, wash them. Tough life.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Keepin' on keepin on
I am hungry so this post may not make any sense, but I've been trying to go to Cross Fit every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and so far so good. I go to Integrated Fitness, which is on the South Side and about halfway between work and home, which is great for the 5:30p class. I hope I can keep it up after I start my new job. I also hope I can figure out a way to afford or supplement once my pre-paid 15 classes are up. Yesterday was the hardest yet - a bunch of pull-ups (though we can use these bands to help relieve some of the weight while we're waiting for our ride to the gun show...similar to the chair use in P90X) and push-ups and squats, then a bunch of dead lifting - which was harder, for me, in terms of correct form than it was hard to physically lift the weight. Then came the Workout Of the Day (or WorkOut of the Day? either day it's WOD), wherein we took a medicine ball (larger than a basketball, but mine was only 8 pounds), threw it up high on a wall in between squats 25 times, ran around the block with the ball, and then did 25 more squat throws, another block run, 25 squat throws, and a final block run. Exhausting! But I did well, about 10 and a half minutes to complete, including time I took to remove my glasses and get drinks of water. Again, I had a harder time figuring out the mechanism of the throw than the workout itself (which isn't to say the workout was easy, at all - it was the hardest one I've done yet). I wanted to throw it like a basketball, but we were supposed to keep it by our chin and spring it as we stood up from the squat. An easier throw as far as exhaustion, but contrary to my muscle memory.
Anyway, one problem I have is that I can always dig deeper. Which is to say, I've never reached the bottomless bottom of my endurance. I feel the pain on a certain plane that I ride, but then can simply say, "Carolyne run faster" and I do it and it doesn't really feel any worse. My issue is, why am I not going that fast in the first place? Why do I say, "this hurts so bad" and then pump out another round? A goal of mine is to be able to automatically get to that deep, dark place.
Oh, in that regard, it may be good to someday not eat ice cream. Just for the day, though, I don't want to get crazy.
Anyway, one problem I have is that I can always dig deeper. Which is to say, I've never reached the bottomless bottom of my endurance. I feel the pain on a certain plane that I ride, but then can simply say, "Carolyne run faster" and I do it and it doesn't really feel any worse. My issue is, why am I not going that fast in the first place? Why do I say, "this hurts so bad" and then pump out another round? A goal of mine is to be able to automatically get to that deep, dark place.
Oh, in that regard, it may be good to someday not eat ice cream. Just for the day, though, I don't want to get crazy.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Back in the New York Groove
So this summer has been bludgeoned with pretty incredible ennui. A lot of it has been fear-based: not being as active as I was this time last summer and having residual injuries has made me less inclined to go for it, push myself, and generally try. This leads to a lot of excuses and poor time management, which leads to the other reasoning, which is that after last year's total chaos with yoga challenge, the wedding and subsequent trip to Costa Rica, the book and other writing things that sprouted tangentially, it's been really nice to really relax and not push myself. To spend a day reading a book instead of running in the rain. It's also been unreasonably hot this summer - hotter and more humid that previous Pittsburgh summers that I can recall. Which is great weather for sitting with a book and a cold cider, but not great for a 64 mile bike ride.
We even tested that theory on the 4th of July, when E. and I made our yearly pilgrimage to Tasty Land out in Greensburg. This ride is never without it's pains - someone rides with us who never goes on long rides and doesn't bring enough water or food, I get a hundred flats but we only brought CO2 cartridges for 50, and of yeah it's a trip to a soft serve ice cream place and I'm lactose intolerant and we still have 30+ miles home to ride and it's in the middle of summer. This year, though, I felt like a champion. Maybe it's because I haven't been pushing myself and so I wasn't totally blown out like I usually am before we even leave city limits. Maybe it's because I lived in the dessert for a while and am more acclimated to the heat than I give myself credit for. E., however, wasn't so lucky and he got heat stroke essentially at Tasty Land. I was genuinely worried about him when we pulled over at a gas station with about 25 miles left and he had to stand in the cooler to quite literally chill out. He doesn't do well in the heat in general, and while I'm a sticky smelly mess pretty much all year, he's a dry, cool kinda guy who gets red-faced and hot first, and it takes some real exertion to break into a sweat - like when playing drums, for instance. But we got past the red-facedness, past the sweating, right into the no-sweat chills that accompany something very bad happening in the body, and we got there pretty quick. Granted, I got there too pretty quick, but I went in and out of that stage and was able to hang out and shake it off. Poor E. just got sick looking and pale I wanted to leave him in a meat locker somewhere while I rode home and got the car. He's a trooper, though, and made it home without throwing up and even cooled off enough to visit friends and catch some fire works with me at the end of the night.
On my end, back to the ennui, I bought a Groupon a bit ago for 15 CrossFit classes for $49. A good deal, if you ask me. I've been meaning to go to CrossFit for a long time, now. Probably since when I was working out regularly and going to power yoga and looking for something similar to P90X. But I've been strangely intimidated by it - scared wouldn't be inappropriate to say. What if I'm not as fit as I think I am? What if everyone there knows what to do and I look like a fool not able to do any of it? What if it's painful, or I just don't like it? Why bother? These questions, clearly, are fools' questions, and I knew it. I'm as fit as I am and that's just fine. Everyone's a beginner at some point. Of course it will be painful. If I don't like it, I won't go back. I bother because I enjoy this stuff - the meathead jock in me likes lifting weights and competing with myself and others on how many pounds and reps, and if I don't then again, I just don't go back.
This week has been a really trying. I think I posted before about my possible and various dietary allergies and intolerances. I've restricted my diet a lot more to rule out possible suspects, and at the same time this week I cut loose a bit and had a lot of pizza and even a beer - the first one in a fairly long time (I tried to have one on the 4th of July at that BBQ we went to, but it just warmed in my hand and I gave it to someone drunk enough to not mind). The other stresses had both pushed me to go work out and relieve the tension and also let fear get into my head and create excuses to not get out the door in time. So this morning I hit the snooze and missed my early class, and then as the afternoon one came around, I made myself go - even though I was tired and we were out of coffee, even though I had a pretty bad headache, even though I had plenty of other things I could be doing instead.
And I loved it. It was a lot easier than I expected, all things considered. Psychologically, even, there were a lot of other beginners there who had only been a few other times (which the owners told me was the case when I called earlier in the week), and the coach, Tom, reminded me of my friend Tommy back home in Boston and that was a big comfort to me. There were a few things I was corrected on as we were learning some basic stuff, regarding proper form, but it was done in a really educational style that I respond well to, and I appreciated that. Everyone was really nice and supportive, and I was also a lot stronger and alert than I expected to be. It was fun to learn new things and also to remember things I hadn't done in a while. I had the best time out of anyone when we did the Workout Of the Day (WOD), which doesn't mean all that much since we are not competing, but it's nice to not be last and it's nice to know I still got it, even when I feel a bit slothish. It was a perfect confidence boost to keep going back.
That isn't to say the WOD was easy. I was definitely tired and struggling at the end and it took a lot of will power to get through it, but that's part of what I like about working out and part of what I'm excited about with CrossFit. There's a goal set and we have physical restraints and capabilities, and in between it's all mental - one more, Carolyne, okay and now just another. My goal for next time is to get through my 40 push ups without taking a break, and my goal after that is to not do them on my knees. After using a rowing machine for 1,000 meters, 40 push ups where you drop totally to the ground is a lot!
We even tested that theory on the 4th of July, when E. and I made our yearly pilgrimage to Tasty Land out in Greensburg. This ride is never without it's pains - someone rides with us who never goes on long rides and doesn't bring enough water or food, I get a hundred flats but we only brought CO2 cartridges for 50, and of yeah it's a trip to a soft serve ice cream place and I'm lactose intolerant and we still have 30+ miles home to ride and it's in the middle of summer. This year, though, I felt like a champion. Maybe it's because I haven't been pushing myself and so I wasn't totally blown out like I usually am before we even leave city limits. Maybe it's because I lived in the dessert for a while and am more acclimated to the heat than I give myself credit for. E., however, wasn't so lucky and he got heat stroke essentially at Tasty Land. I was genuinely worried about him when we pulled over at a gas station with about 25 miles left and he had to stand in the cooler to quite literally chill out. He doesn't do well in the heat in general, and while I'm a sticky smelly mess pretty much all year, he's a dry, cool kinda guy who gets red-faced and hot first, and it takes some real exertion to break into a sweat - like when playing drums, for instance. But we got past the red-facedness, past the sweating, right into the no-sweat chills that accompany something very bad happening in the body, and we got there pretty quick. Granted, I got there too pretty quick, but I went in and out of that stage and was able to hang out and shake it off. Poor E. just got sick looking and pale I wanted to leave him in a meat locker somewhere while I rode home and got the car. He's a trooper, though, and made it home without throwing up and even cooled off enough to visit friends and catch some fire works with me at the end of the night.
On my end, back to the ennui, I bought a Groupon a bit ago for 15 CrossFit classes for $49. A good deal, if you ask me. I've been meaning to go to CrossFit for a long time, now. Probably since when I was working out regularly and going to power yoga and looking for something similar to P90X. But I've been strangely intimidated by it - scared wouldn't be inappropriate to say. What if I'm not as fit as I think I am? What if everyone there knows what to do and I look like a fool not able to do any of it? What if it's painful, or I just don't like it? Why bother? These questions, clearly, are fools' questions, and I knew it. I'm as fit as I am and that's just fine. Everyone's a beginner at some point. Of course it will be painful. If I don't like it, I won't go back. I bother because I enjoy this stuff - the meathead jock in me likes lifting weights and competing with myself and others on how many pounds and reps, and if I don't then again, I just don't go back.
This week has been a really trying. I think I posted before about my possible and various dietary allergies and intolerances. I've restricted my diet a lot more to rule out possible suspects, and at the same time this week I cut loose a bit and had a lot of pizza and even a beer - the first one in a fairly long time (I tried to have one on the 4th of July at that BBQ we went to, but it just warmed in my hand and I gave it to someone drunk enough to not mind). The other stresses had both pushed me to go work out and relieve the tension and also let fear get into my head and create excuses to not get out the door in time. So this morning I hit the snooze and missed my early class, and then as the afternoon one came around, I made myself go - even though I was tired and we were out of coffee, even though I had a pretty bad headache, even though I had plenty of other things I could be doing instead.
And I loved it. It was a lot easier than I expected, all things considered. Psychologically, even, there were a lot of other beginners there who had only been a few other times (which the owners told me was the case when I called earlier in the week), and the coach, Tom, reminded me of my friend Tommy back home in Boston and that was a big comfort to me. There were a few things I was corrected on as we were learning some basic stuff, regarding proper form, but it was done in a really educational style that I respond well to, and I appreciated that. Everyone was really nice and supportive, and I was also a lot stronger and alert than I expected to be. It was fun to learn new things and also to remember things I hadn't done in a while. I had the best time out of anyone when we did the Workout Of the Day (WOD), which doesn't mean all that much since we are not competing, but it's nice to not be last and it's nice to know I still got it, even when I feel a bit slothish. It was a perfect confidence boost to keep going back.
That isn't to say the WOD was easy. I was definitely tired and struggling at the end and it took a lot of will power to get through it, but that's part of what I like about working out and part of what I'm excited about with CrossFit. There's a goal set and we have physical restraints and capabilities, and in between it's all mental - one more, Carolyne, okay and now just another. My goal for next time is to get through my 40 push ups without taking a break, and my goal after that is to not do them on my knees. After using a rowing machine for 1,000 meters, 40 push ups where you drop totally to the ground is a lot!
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