The day I went outside for the sake of breathing (banana pancakes recipe)

It's been hard to get back into the groove of Pittsburgh living since my return at the beginning of the month. The over-stimulation of high speed internet, the constant noise and frustration of city life and a home under the highway, the smells and struggles of living in a working-poor neighborhood where the street never gets plowed because it will just pull up more chunks of concrete and cobblestone, the lack of structure, the demand for structure. Plus, my office chair just isn't as comfortable as the one in my old studio at the Vermont Studio Center (poor me, I know). There have been so many positive changes that have happened not only since this past summer, but in the two weeks since I've been home, but it can be difficult to keep that all in perspective, to prioritize time affectively, and to stay focused on the real goals in life.

Today, however, the sun was out. Those who live in the Southwest may not take their sunshine for granted, but I sometimes feel that those in New England do. It may be more grey there in the winter than in the summer, but it's a beautiful part of the world, and the sun is out more often than not, that cold blue winter sky that reminds you you're on Earth, that feels so warm in contrast to the frosty snap of wind on your nose. The sun is a brief relieve that we in Pittsburgh so rarely get. Today, however, was cold enough to bring out the sun, and I was sure to make the most of it.

E. and I went for a cross-country ski adventure in Frick Park, taking advantage of the small amount of snow we received the past two days. I would never tell my poor Bostonian friends and family (except here, publicly, where I can't be assaulted), but I am a bit jealous of all their snow. The grass is always whiter, I know, and I really do feel bad that they are trapped with inoperable public transit and limitless snowbanks that make driving perilous. That said, I will probably never get to use my snowshoes in the Pittsburgh area, and the inch of snow we have here now practically peeled off the grass with my skis like lint from a sweater with masking tape. On the hiking trails was a bit easier, since a lot of the snow was packed down. I had picked up my skis, boots, and poles last year at REI's winter garage sale for about $45 total, after I dislocated my shoulder and needed something active to do besides boxing or cycling. They were pretty much new, so they are a lot faster than E.'s old skis he bought off Craigslist. I found myself slowing down a lot (or attempting to) so that I wouldn't run him over, or being a bit intimidated by the changing elevation that's unavoidable in this area. Harder than that was going up, sliding back if my ski remained on the ground for a second longer than necessary as I waddled uphill. I only fell once, as I attempted to slow down and ran over a stick.

 

But just skiing wasn't enough on a day as refreshing as this. I came home and my poor dog was so lonesome, knowing we had spent a few hours outside without him. He hates the cold, but when the sun is out, everything looks so warm, and the heat from the sun's reflection off the snow comes through the window and I know he thinks it's finally nice out again. So I bundled him in a fleece and we headed into Schenley Park, the woods behind my house. It was such a beautiful day, and we ran and slid through our private trail we'd dug, up to the top of the hill. His paws were cold and he insisted on walking on the sidewalk once we reached the top. Within moments, he was stalling and holding up his paws in pain, the salt having burned wounds into his cold pads. I brushed them off and eventually coerced him to walk with me in the snow, and we went further back into the woods, where the trails were padded with snow and we could run freely (on our leash, of course— we're both prone to running away). It was nice to be out of the house and enjoying the outdoors. I think it's something that's been especially bothersome for me as I sink back into Pittsburgh life. I ran the stairs last night, and have been going to kickboxing, but it's not quite the same as a few hours outside in the fresh air and the tranquility of trees. I've found myself no longer dreaming of Santa Fe every night, but often dreaming of Johnson, VT as well. These are sweet reliefs from the sadder dreams, but when I wake up, I'm filled with a longing I can't shake, for a landscape that brought me such quietude I can't seem to muster in my own environment here.

No blog post is truly complete without a recipe, of course, so here's one which is almost exactly like the one from Vega's site. The only changes is I use All-In-One and they use protein powder, and they use coconut oil and I use Earth Balance. Also, I'm heavy on the cinnamon because it's delicious and really good for you. Among other things, it helps break down sugars and combat inflammation. 

Vegan Banana Boost Pancakes

• 1 large banana, mashed
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup milk of choice (I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk)
• 1 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour (I like Mama's almond flour mix)
• 1 serving Vega One Nutritional Shake Vanilla Chai
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 Tbsp Earth Balance (or oil of choice)

Mix together mashed banana, vanilla, and milk in small bowl and set aside. In large bowl, mix flour, shake mix, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon. Add banana mixture slowly, and mix until just blended. Add more milk as needed. I added about 1/8 cup milk at the beginning of making pancakes, and as the batter sat as I made the first round, the batter thickened and I added some water. Heat pan on medium heat, add oil to pan, and cook those babies up, flipping once the glorious pancake bubbles appear.

These cakes are sweet enough on their own, from the banana and the stevia in the shake mix, but your topping of choice would only sweeten the deal even more. This recipe fed me well for two mornings.

First day back at the bag

With the sun back in the sky and love in my heart, I was today able to finally get to kickboxing. I knew going into it that I'm not in the shape I once was, that I'm not as strong or as svelt. It's not that I've been scared to go back to class, but there were always excuses — usually decent ones, in my defense, like illness or injury, but also weak ones like not enough time or feeling tired —that I wrongly convinced myself were worth listening to.

But today I set an alarm for an early class so that I'd make it to at least the afternoon class, and made myself go. There weren't very many people there, only 7 plus the instructors. One of the instructors and all the attendees were strangers to me, but I instantly fell into the groove of warming up, smiling through side plank, and feeling thankful for the relief of mere jumping jacks. By the time we got to our first round of jab-cross, I was already tired, but excited to be back at the bag again.

What surprised me was how tired my legs were after the warm-up squats and lung jumps. Typically my legs are incredibly strong and even after an hour round of kickboxing, they're still ready to ride up some Pittsburgh hills or at least take the dog for a long walk. My legs were shaking. When we started kicking, I dug deep into myself and found saved energy even though parts of me wanted to crumble into a ball and lay there for dead.

Between every other round, I ran to my water bottle, my throat dry and desperate for water. "How does everyone feel?" Coach Jenny said as the bell rang after three hard minutes of uppercuts. "Tired!" I shouted back. "Good," she said, "that means you're doing it right."

Strange fact about me: I have a series of situations in which I imagine almost everyone I meet. One of those is in an attack situation. How they'd try to attack me, how I'd counter-attack. I always prided myself on my strength, but moreso my stamina. As class went on, I felt myself losing power like a battery, each punch and kick a bit less powerful, less quick, and each block a bit less accurate. I was disappointed, and again dug deeper to find that person I know I can be, who can fight through pain and come out kicking and punching and screaming. At speed round, I pushed all my pain, all my weakness to the back of my brain and charged at my bag with as much speed and speed and strength as I could muster.

I know I have to keep going to kickboxing class. I want to get back into the shape I was before I dislocated my shoulder. It was over a year ago, but it through my training regimen off so much that it's been difficult to find a new rhythm. I'm thankful I have a place to go that pushes and supports me, and that's always there when I'm ready to dive back in. I look forward to Thursday, and I hope I don't sabotage myself and miss class for some dumb reason like I'm scared of the pain of realizing how weak I am. I already realize that, so the only thing I have to do is face up to it.

Oh Kale Yes!

Today was an incredible 50 degrees out here in Pittsburgh, and the scheduled rain held out, so as soon as I got home from band practice, E. and I pumped up the tires on our road bikes and headed into the park. Days like today help me appreciate owning a road bike, when the weather is too warm to train inside but the trails are still too icy and even the thawed trails are too wet and would be ruined with bike treads. The roads of Schenley park were packed with joggers, walkers, and people napping in their cars. We didn't ride for very long, or very far, because we are both getting over colds and long bouts of inactivity due to a number of variables. But it was nice to spin the legs, get our blood pumping, and breathe some fresh air, even if only for an hour or so.

Getting over injury and sickness is never fun or easy, but the payoff for laying low, daily yoga, and herbal tea comes in the form of quicker recovery to enjoy these beautiful days. I complained a lot and posted a few too many photos of me and my dog in bed, but I'm grateful today for my health.

To celebrate our first bike ride together of 2015, E. made dinner. Crusted barbecue tempeh, raw kale salad, and fried potatoes, paired with some cider from East End Brewing Company, was a great way to end the day.

The dressing for the Kale salad was then used on our dehydrating kale. This recipe is E.'s, adapted from Brad's Raw Kale Chips, using ingredients readily available around the house. These aren't "guilt free" except that no one should feel guilty about eating. They have fat and calories from healthy sources, and are a wonderful snack to satisfy cravings for crunchy, savory treats.

• Raw sunflower seeds, enough to coat the bottom of food processor
• Garlic (whole cloves, 3+ depending on preference)
• Green onions (1-2), hard to taste and therefore optional
• Miso paste (scoop about the size of a ping pong, about 2 Tbsp)
• Peanut butter, natural and crunchy (hefty scoop, a bit more than the miso)
• Lemon juice (2-3 Tbsp)
• Ginger (optional, to taste)
• Water
• Kale, raw and destemmed (however much you have and can put on your dehydrator, probably 3 handfuls or so)

1. Add the sunflower seeds to the bottom of food processor to coat the bottom. Grind up into finest powder possible.
2. Add garlic and green onions. Blend.
3. Next, add the wet ingredients, starting with the miso and peanut butter. Blend again.
4. Add lemon juice, ginger, and water. Water is the magic sauce! It adjusts the dressing consistency. If you add too much, add a bit more PB to bring it back. Blend.
5. Pour dressing on kale and massage it in. The surface area of kale shrinks, so if the dressing is strong, add less dressing because the chips will also be strong.
6. Add kale to dehydrator. Spread out bigger pieces, but if you buy the pre-cut kale on sale at Trader Joes, layer the smaller pieces and "cook" for a bit longer so they become one motherchip. Otherwise, leave the kale alone for 12 hours or so, checking periodically to see how they're doing.

This recipe also works well for beet greens, a great way to make the most of these healthy leafy tops.

Miso Soup for the Soul

I've been sick for the past week, which has manifested in strange ways: my bad back, a splitting headache that lasted for days, runny nose (and other gross expulsions), light-headedness. You know, cold stuff. I've been spending a lot of time at home in bed, actively fighting my innate urge to push through my illness. Every winter, especially since moving to Pittsburgh, I've gotten sick. Each year, I push through my illness and ride my bike in the cold rain or snow, run the Schenley trails, and try to convince my body to stop being so wimpy. Now that I'm self-employed, I have the luxury of creating my own schedule (except for my multiple looming deadlines). I'm trying to use that to my advantage to give my body the time and space needed to relax. It's hard, but luckily since I work from home I can multitask and rest in bed with Cupcake Wars while still doing some light editing.

But, a girl's still gotta eat. I was thinking a lot today about bone broth, because I'm considering having guest bloggers contribute a post once a week, at least for a month, to offer a different perspective or set of knowledge than what's usually presented here. Paleo diets are fairly meat-centric, even though our human predecessors ate much less meat, and I was considering what sort of content I would want a potential paleo contributor to offer. That's yet to be disclosed, kind readers, but in the meantime it also got me thinking about chicken soup, since I'm sick, which was tied in with the bone broth for obvious reasons. But I don't eat chicken! What's a gal to do?

Luckily, I happen to be married to an industrial individual who does not have a head cold. In a matter of minutes, we had miso soup with dried seaweed, spiraled carrots, and sweet potato starch noodles, topped with Sriracha — aka rooster sauce, or "cock sauce" if you are 20 years old — to bring the heat that will hopefully help sweat out this evil being living in my sinuses. Here's some proof:

This soup hit the spot for a cool Pittsburgh evening when I needed something nourishing and satisfying. In case you are wondering about bone broth, however, I did find this nice recipe, which uses burdock root (the bone of vegetables) instead of animal bones. So if a paleo blogger does grace us with some insight and posts a bone broth meal plan or consideration, here's a helpful alternative. 

On Calorie Counters and self policing

As I focus more on nutrition, I try to not get too absorbed in calorie counting. For some people, it's a great method for keeping tabs on how much food one eats and where one stands as far as input/output of energy. For me, I find myself checking in on how much I've burned versus how much I've consumed, which has a lot to do with the apps I've used in the past, and when I see that I'm at a severe deficit, I binge on pizza at 1 a.m. But that isn't all there is to nutrition (in fact, it isn't healthy at all). I'm sure many of you have heard "not all calories are created equal," but how does that transfer into your daily eating habits?

I find that using things like calorie trackers are very similar to using a GPS. If you have no idea where you are or how to get where you want to be, and have no idea how to read maps or the time to focus on learning about best routes, then it's a good tool to get you where you need to be. However, both tools are limited. A GPS doesn't always have the most up-to-date routes, especially in Western Pennsylvania where the roads are constantly under construction and closed off. Even features like Quickest Route, Shortest Route, or No Tolls don't always deliver, and we often end up taking a longer or at least less pleasant route than a local may instruct us to follow, or that we may find on our own by looking at some maps. Further, the more we rely on GPS, the less inclined we are to listen to our own navigational instincts or to pay attention to our surroundings. We are less likely to learn about the roads, routes, and nearby attractions if we stare at the digital screen in front of us, telling us exactly where to go and sternly alerting us when we veer even the slightest off track.

The same goes for calorie counters. If you are at a loss as to how to manage your nutritional information; if you haven't yet learned the skills to know when you are full, hungry, or thirsty; if you don't yet understand how to intuitively know the quality of the food you're eating, then calorie counters are great. I like to use them intermittently to check in on how I'm doing, if I'm about on track with where I ought to be. But when I focus too much on the calorie counters, I start to become more obsessed with this abstract number rather than the actual purpose of monitoring my intake.

Since I can't currently do too much besides some gentle yoga, nutrition is more important right now than I necessarily expected it to be, so I'm thankful for the 90/10 group to motivate me to pay attention rather than fall into a delicious canyon of pizza and beer. Since I'm vegetarian (I did eat fish in Vermont — sorry fishies, as well as ate more dairy than I'm used to — sorry cows), I found this round-up of vegan proteins to be very helpful. A lot of this information is stuff I learned as a teenager, but it's always good to have the reminder that there's more to life than peanut butter and toast, as delicious as it is, or rice and beans, as cheap as it is. The list, published by Greatist, is available here, But I'll let you know what my top 3 favorites are:

• chia seeds
• quinoa
• peanut butter sandwich

Today I had chia seeds and flax seeds on top of my unsweetened greek yogurt, which I then drizzled with a bit of local honey from my neighbor Bee Boy, who is resisting a web presence so he doesn't overwhelm his hives due to an increased demand for the sweet stuff. For lunch was sprouted flourless bread with peanut butter, and for dinner I'll probably make some sort of quinoa dish. These are all vegetarian, and all complete proteins.

When you're well-nourished, eating food you like, and don't feel like you have to police yourself, it's a lot easier to maintain healthy eating habits.

In related news, I spent my time in Vermont eating my fair share of gluten and soy, and didn't have any major sensitivity outbreaks until I returned to Boston and then to Pittsburgh, where I broke out in hives both times. This leads me to believe that my sensitivities are largely stress-related, that stress brings in inflammation, hives, and other discomforts. The gluten and soy are Alka-seltzer tablets to my glass of stress water. Together, they fizz into an eruption.

So the goal, after that interesting experiment founded by my own weakness for fresh baked bread and brownies, is not to completely regulate my food, but to avoid the food that puts me at risk for discomfort, but also avoid stressful situations and mindsets, not letting myself get caught up in unnecessary drama. Instead, I'll try to alleviate situations before they manifest, to deal with things head-on before they become stressful.

Back InAction, get it?

My back is sore and Pittsburgh is covered in ice; not the ideal situation for a homecoming. I blame the back largely on travel, as it started aching after staying with my parents for 2 nights on their old basement couch, and became extreme pain during the long wait in the airport (my flight was delayed) and subsequent flight. I used my neck pillow as a back support, and must have squirmed and looked rightly pitiful, because the guy behind me insisted on grabbing my suitcase for me from the overhead compartment (thanks, guy).

For those of you who have back pain, some stretches that work for me are:

Feet shoulder width apart, reach towards the floor without forcing your hands further than they can naturally go. Relieve the back by coming up halfway, resting hands near below the knees for support, then come back down. Repeat a few times.

Keeping feet pointed straight and apart, walk hands towards the right, then back to center. Relieve the back by coming halfway up, then down again. Repeat on the left side.

Coming up, it's hard on the back (mine, anyway) to use my core to come upright, so I use the lifting method of lifting with my legs, bending my knees, bringing my chest up first and then coming up to standing position.

I also have Back Care Yoga with Rodney Yee to fall back on.

Between these mild stretches and use of the foam roller, I feel a little better today than I did yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. I want to go— I want to go punch things!

In the meantime, though, I've joined up with 90/10 Nutrition to take part in a monthlong nutrition challenge. Their system is simple: Here's a bunch of food that's good for you and you can eat basically as much of this stuff as you want. Here's some other stuff that's not so stellar and you can have it sometimes but don't like go crazy, and here's some other food that you should just totally avoid. I think I eat pretty well, in fact I know I do, but coming back from the Vermont Studio Center after a month of delectable food I didn't have to think about making will surely prove challenging, and having some group motivation will help me keep healthy.

They have close ties to Beach Body as well, which means my bro Tony Horton may be making an appearance here again, depending on how my back heals up.

I don't weigh myself, so I don't have a clear idea of how much weight I gained, if I lost muscle mass from lack of weight training and am just doughier than usual, or if it's all in my head. But I am going on a challenging 80-mile hike in August and need to start taking my fitness seriously again so I'm not carrying around extra weight.

I also need to (gulp) go back to the doctor to yet again have my back looked at. All things in due time, I suppose.

It's probably fine.

I'll rub some dirt on it, take a lap, and check back in a month.