How to basically survive Thanksgiving

After years of being vegan, then vegetarian, then eating meat in an effort to balance my health and stomach issues, then going back to vegetarian and working again towards veganism (whew, that's exhausting, isn't it?), Thanksgiving is basically the worst. It stands for the positive remembrance of a systemic genocide that began with an act of goodwill on the part of those sonata slaughtered. It is celebrated with the slaughter of animals that would be a genocide if they weren't bred specifically to be tortured and killed for this holiday. We give thanks for all we have, hopefully, and yet waste so much on food and poor nutrition and sleep it off, avoiding awkward conversations with relatives.

Americans eat an average of 4,000 calories in one sitting, then make a vague Facebook post thanking their family for supporting them through this or that, before passing out in front of the parade or football game on TV. There have been a number of articles this year on how to curb that calorie count, so I won't get into them here (you can find some helpful tips here or here, though). But I will tell you how I survive the holidays.

First, I try to not think so hard about what the holiday stands for, and instead truly, honestly reflect on how thankful I am for all I have in life. I am so fortunate. In addition to the things beyond anyone's control such as race, nationality, able-bodied status, and other things that put my at a general advantage in the world, I am loved, and have the ability to love. And it's all mutual! That's the best part about it. The people who I love are the same as those who love me. I'm also sheltered in a home I don't fear losing, and it's warm (right now the dog is laying by the heater sucking up all its warmth, so it's not at warm as it could be). I'm also on track to do what I want in my life, with my time and my energy, and that is such a truly rare and wonderful thing. I have an imagination and despite the beginning of this blog post, a hearty dose of optimism flowing through my veins. I'm thankful to have so many places ready to serve me food today.

But that food. This is where the trouble starts for many people. They want to have one of everything, to be polite, then go back for seconds of what they enjoyed because hey, it's Thanksgiving, why not indulge a little? A few hours go by, some drinks are slung back, and that stretched out stomach has had a chance to burn off just a bit of that food, just enough to give the feeling that more can— nay, should— be consumed. So turkey is picked at while the pies are brought out, and the whipped cream is dolloped on, and maybe ice cream. People pass out at 7 p.m. or sooner, then wake up at 11 and make a small plate of leftovers, feeling justified since they'd only really had one meal that day. But that one meal was over twice the caloric amount of an entire normal day.

Quick tips:

• Make the focus truly on mindfulness and giving thanks. Focus on all the love you feel around you, and if you're celebrating alone and indulge out of a feeling of loss, focus on your love of self and the other things in your life that are positive, or that you hope to make positive. Spread that love into the world.

• Make a plate the size you ordinarily would. Don't gorge yourself needlessly. But if you make a plate that looks on the light side, mentally you'll have an easier time justifying seconds, thirds, and fourths.

• Only eat the things you actually want and enjoy. If you don't really like mashed potatoes, you don't have to eat them just because Aunt May made a big bowl. 

• Start with the vegetables and fibrous foods and work around from there. They are more nutritious and filling than what else may be on the table, so you'll be less inclined to eat extra stuffing.

• Bring a healthy dish. If you can't be sure there will be anything healthy at your Thanksgiving meal, if you know your family is the type to completely drown everything in butter, salt, and sugar, then bring a dish you know you'll enjoy eating and that has a high nutrition value. No one else likes your roasted quinoa pilaf stuffed squash? More for you, and that means less pressure to eat poorly. Even better, some of your relatives may actually enjoy that dish, and you could start a new tradition of having healthier foods at your holiday meals.

• Get moving. Tag, touch football, ultimate frisbee, or an active video game will get the blood flowing while still bonding with family. If that isn't an option, go for a walk. I take my dog with me to my mother-in-law's house. They love each other and he's part of the family, but an added bonus is that when I start to feel stuffed and lethargic, I can take my pooch for a quick walk around the block. It gives us an opportunity to get some exercise and fresh air, plus he can relieve himself of his doggly duties.

• Be selective. If there are a bunch of desserts spread about, choose one or two to sample. Make some rules for yourself if that's helpful, such as only eating home made desserts, or only eating holiday specific desserts. Going in with a plan ahead of time will make it easier once you see the dessert table and your sweet tooth starts salivating.

• Don't take the day too seriously. It is, after all, just one day. While you'll thank yourself later for being mindful of how you treat your body, one day of indulgence isn't going to make you unhealthy, just as one day of exercise and calorie counting isn't going to make you healthy. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you truly have a wonderful holiday.

Can't win 'em all: oatmeal edition

I don't think this story is exactly what that xoJane column is looking for, but: it happened to me. I subscribe to Vega's various e-newsletters, one of which has recipes for different vegan power meals, usually breakfasts. A lot of them are just interesting takes on a smoothie, many of which I already "sort of" do, but last week was a recipe for slow cooker pumpkin oatmeal, and it turned out that I had all the ingredients already in house. Since it didn't quite work out as intended, I won't post the recipe, but you can certainly see it here if you'd like to give it a shot.

I'm thinking now that maybe there was a typo. I certainly should have used my common sense in thinking to modify the 1:4 ratio of oats to water. But I was making them at 1 a.m., as I am oft to do, and wasn't really at my prime. As you may have seen from the photo, these oats look INCREDIBLE. They are in adorable cups, and topped with walnuts, and the lighting is beautiful.

The night I made them, I had an awkward dream that amounted to sitting at my friends' house, who'd just broken up, staring at them as they sat on opposite sides of their couch, and watched the sun set between them out the window. Very long, dull, awkward dream segment. But when I woke up, I immediately remembered the breakfast waiting for me -- put your kitchen to work while you sleep! The Vega post cajoled -- though I was a little confused by the specific lack of warm pumpkiny smell coming from down stairs.

I won't post pictures, because they would make you want to just drive to McDonald's and purchase the least food-like substance available, so safe. The edges of the crock pot were burnt, and there was scummy looking brown water capped with what could have been a kombucha mother, had science failed me. The burnt edges were surprising, considering there was so much water still in the pot. The bottom was also burnt, and there was an oat paste about an inch thick.

I didn't even know what to do with it, it was such a mess. So I did what comes most naturally to me, I let it sit on the counter all day and occasionally looked at it and frowned, and maybe gave it a stir or two. Then a miracle occurred: It became food again. Just like Jesus rising from the dead and exiting the cave, so too were my oats. They were pretty bland for how much flavoring I put in, and a little gooey, but they had absorbed the water and looked edible!

I did what any disgusting human who really didn't want to throw about about $5 worth of oats, pumpkin, and spices would do, I heated some up in the microwave, poured some Vega  all-in-one powder on it, and topped it with a ton of almond milk, some roasted flax seeds, and some chia seeds.

And, I'm not gonna lie. It was pretty decent. I won't make this recipe again, at least not without some serious modification (though I'll post the modified recipe if it works out better).