So this summer has been bludgeoned with pretty incredible ennui. A lot of it has been fear-based: not being as active as I was this time last summer and having residual injuries has made me less inclined to go for it, push myself, and generally try. This leads to a lot of excuses and poor time management, which leads to the other reasoning, which is that after last year's total chaos with yoga challenge, the wedding and subsequent trip to Costa Rica, the book and other writing things that sprouted tangentially, it's been really nice to really relax and not push myself. To spend a day reading a book instead of running in the rain. It's also been unreasonably hot this summer - hotter and more humid that previous Pittsburgh summers that I can recall. Which is great weather for sitting with a book and a cold cider, but not great for a 64 mile bike ride.
We even tested that theory on the 4th of July, when E. and I made our yearly pilgrimage to Tasty Land out in Greensburg. This ride is never without it's pains - someone rides with us who never goes on long rides and doesn't bring enough water or food, I get a hundred flats but we only brought CO2 cartridges for 50, and of yeah it's a trip to a soft serve ice cream place and I'm lactose intolerant and we still have 30+ miles home to ride and it's in the middle of summer. This year, though, I felt like a champion. Maybe it's because I haven't been pushing myself and so I wasn't totally blown out like I usually am before we even leave city limits. Maybe it's because I lived in the dessert for a while and am more acclimated to the heat than I give myself credit for. E., however, wasn't so lucky and he got heat stroke essentially at Tasty Land. I was genuinely worried about him when we pulled over at a gas station with about 25 miles left and he had to stand in the cooler to quite literally chill out. He doesn't do well in the heat in general, and while I'm a sticky smelly mess pretty much all year, he's a dry, cool kinda guy who gets red-faced and hot first, and it takes some real exertion to break into a sweat - like when playing drums, for instance. But we got past the red-facedness, past the sweating, right into the no-sweat chills that accompany something very bad happening in the body, and we got there pretty quick. Granted, I got there too pretty quick, but I went in and out of that stage and was able to hang out and shake it off. Poor E. just got sick looking and pale I wanted to leave him in a meat locker somewhere while I rode home and got the car. He's a trooper, though, and made it home without throwing up and even cooled off enough to visit friends and catch some fire works with me at the end of the night.
On my end, back to the ennui, I bought a Groupon a bit ago for 15 CrossFit classes for $49. A good deal, if you ask me. I've been meaning to go to CrossFit for a long time, now. Probably since when I was working out regularly and going to power yoga and looking for something similar to P90X. But I've been strangely intimidated by it - scared wouldn't be inappropriate to say. What if I'm not as fit as I think I am? What if everyone there knows what to do and I look like a fool not able to do any of it? What if it's painful, or I just don't like it? Why bother? These questions, clearly, are fools' questions, and I knew it. I'm as fit as I am and that's just fine. Everyone's a beginner at some point. Of course it will be painful. If I don't like it, I won't go back. I bother because I enjoy this stuff - the meathead jock in me likes lifting weights and competing with myself and others on how many pounds and reps, and if I don't then again, I just don't go back.
This week has been a really trying. I think I posted before about my possible and various dietary allergies and intolerances. I've restricted my diet a lot more to rule out possible suspects, and at the same time this week I cut loose a bit and had a lot of pizza and even a beer - the first one in a fairly long time (I tried to have one on the 4th of July at that BBQ we went to, but it just warmed in my hand and I gave it to someone drunk enough to not mind). The other stresses had both pushed me to go work out and relieve the tension and also let fear get into my head and create excuses to not get out the door in time. So this morning I hit the snooze and missed my early class, and then as the afternoon one came around, I made myself go - even though I was tired and we were out of coffee, even though I had a pretty bad headache, even though I had plenty of other things I could be doing instead.
And I loved it. It was a lot easier than I expected, all things considered. Psychologically, even, there were a lot of other beginners there who had only been a few other times (which the owners told me was the case when I called earlier in the week), and the coach, Tom, reminded me of my friend Tommy back home in Boston and that was a big comfort to me. There were a few things I was corrected on as we were learning some basic stuff, regarding proper form, but it was done in a really educational style that I respond well to, and I appreciated that. Everyone was really nice and supportive, and I was also a lot stronger and alert than I expected to be. It was fun to learn new things and also to remember things I hadn't done in a while. I had the best time out of anyone when we did the Workout Of the Day (WOD), which doesn't mean all that much since we are not competing, but it's nice to not be last and it's nice to know I still got it, even when I feel a bit slothish. It was a perfect confidence boost to keep going back.
That isn't to say the WOD was easy. I was definitely tired and struggling at the end and it took a lot of will power to get through it, but that's part of what I like about working out and part of what I'm excited about with CrossFit. There's a goal set and we have physical restraints and capabilities, and in between it's all mental - one more, Carolyne, okay and now just another. My goal for next time is to get through my 40 push ups without taking a break, and my goal after that is to not do them on my knees. After using a rowing machine for 1,000 meters, 40 push ups where you drop totally to the ground is a lot!
WOW. you should be proud!
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