climbing the caged ring of your heart

I'm not sure if I've complained on here about it or not (because I've surely complained everywhere else in my life) but my shoulder's been bugging me a lot. The thing that really bothers me is that it's just the one shoulder. I'm pretty symmetrical. I'm left handed, and it's my left shoulder, but I don't really do anything explicitly left handed, since I type with both hands, ride a bike with both hands (or no hands, yay!), drive with both hands most of the time like a hunched up old person unsure if that's a cat in the road or a haunting ghost from my past, and when I eat it's typically in some zone of disconnect and I don't really know how the food gets in my mouth, it just does, and often. This shoulder thing bothers me because it's just the one shoulder and I'm not sure how that's happened, and because it's a stabbing pain, and feels like I'm being burned by a hot, sharp pick, and my shoulder has swollen not to the point where it's visible, but to the point where I can feel it laying on my back or leaning against a wall (with one foot against the wall, my jacket coller popped, and a cigarette, clearly). And now, it's gotten so bad that my mouth also bothers me on the left side, and I can't open my mouth wide enough to comfortably consume the aforementioned food in such ravenous whimsy. When I do try to open my mouth, there's this awful crunching noise in my ear, and then my mouth just can't go any further. It really, you know, sucks. AND, get this, my left gluteus maximus is also really bumming me out (get it?) and it hurts when I do things like get off the couch. Which means I can either never sit again, or never stand again. And choosing has always been a weakness of mine. </end rant>

But anyway, I went to Bikram the other night because a) I wanted to spend some quality time with E. that didn't involve watching the Daily Show or eating at Mad Mex, b) I wanted to go to yoga and sweat out some toxins, and c) with my shoulder bothering me so much I didn't want to go to my usual power vinyasa class where I would inevitably spend a combined half hour or so in downward dog, shoulder stand, or other position that is just not helpful at the moment. Plus my elbows are still swollen. To be honest, I partially blame Bikram for exasperating my butt cramp, which is an injury that comes and goes (not from the fall, that was on the right side) but most certainly made an appearance about half way through my practice. I also got chastised a bit for drinking water, because apparently I'm supposed to just be drinking water all the time and not get thirsty, or else "breathe through it" (yeah right). I know that drinking water when I'm sweating so much doesn't actually hydrate me, but placebos have cured all kinds of things, lady, so get off my back.

After yoga, I told E. not to laugh at me, but I was really thinking I needed to take it easy for a while. he didn't laugh at me, great man that he is. However I went rock climbing the next day (yesterday) and had a wonderful time and this morning, groaning through my only partially open mouth and rubbing my shoulder while limping into the kitchen, I announced that I wasn't sure if I should go to yoga tonight because I'm trying to take it easy. Then the laughter came, which was fair and expected, really. But I gotta tell you, Ladies Night at The Climbing Wall was amazing. I made friends, I learned new stuff, I climbed new patterns and tried new positions, and really had a wonderful time. J. and I climbed for about 2 hours, and about halfway through another friend showed up and brought 3 other women with her. It kicked butt. We took over "the cave" which is where a lot of the upsidedown climbing happens, and I got really pissy at these two guys who tried to shoulder J. and I out of this one pattern we were trying to learn. The worst part was that they couldn't even do what they were attempting, and weren't even really trying, they were just jumping in there and being all muscly about it, which I really can't stand. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 

So I don't know if I'll go to power vinyasa yoga tonight. I would like to, but I also know that I really do need to calm down a bit and stop being so active. Maybe practice the bass tonight. I've been trying to learn Boris the Spider by The Who. It's supposed to be a song for beginners, but being a beginner I find it pretty challenging to get it all together and at a good speed. Here's the tutorial clip I've been using. This guy also taught me how to play Cannonball by The Breeders and Can't Touch This by MC Hammer (aka Super Freak by Rick James).

So anyway, if any ladies/women/gals/dames/broads out there would like to come climbing next Wednesday with us in Pittsburgh, we meet at 7 p.m. at The Climbing Wall, and it's only $6, a serious bargain. Also, any guys who want to climb for the same great discounted price, if you wear a sports bra over your shirt you also get the same deal. I'll throw it out there, there were a lot of guys climbing last night, a lot of them non-members, and none of them wore sports bras. Babies.